Wednesday, February 07, 2007
...I'll be honest, ...I don't feel as though I belong here in this place or time. I just don't.
...I often feel as though I am a stranger traveling here. I'm not sure where I'm from or where I'm going, but I learn the local customs and obey the local laws as much as possible out of a need to cause as little distress as possible to the locals. I am beginning to think that my goal in existence is to empty any realm or dimension that is analogous to hell. When every soul is at peace, when every fallen angel rejoins his/her God, then I will rest. I don't know where that drive comes from. Except perhaps for my own need to be one with the All. I suppose I remember, somehow, what it was like before my individual creation. I do have "memories" of things that I can not explain, past lives perhaps, or of my souls existence during the last great battle between Law and Chaos. I sometimes want to go back into the river of the souls. I want to rejoin that oneness. I suppose I assume everyone else does too. Such may not be the case. As long as those who are separate *want* to be so, that's fine I guess.